2005-10-06
8:47 p.m.

Death

How do you view it, you guys? This five-letter word..

My first experience with the lady was when I was... I don't even recall. My paternal grandma died when I was a kid. I recall lifting the cover (those days they don't seem to keep them in coffins?) and touching her cold skin.

Next was.. my maternal grandma in 1989. Then was a distant family friend. My family's got a long history with this guy.

Then.. the list seems pretty long.

When my maternal grandma passed away, I was studying in college. And I wrote this during an English Literature lecture:

Death, who art thou?
Why dost thou claim what doest no belong to thou?
What right have thou to do so?
Why dost people fear thou?
Thou art but an invisible hand,
which comes and leads people away
to a place where no one hast and will return.
Thou art but a robber
who, jealous of all mankind,
takes away their happiness.
Oh, Death!
Why won't thou go thy way,
and leave men alone
to enjoy their happiness?

Dated 290589 at 1051h

Why do I talk of death now?

I notice that kids these days take death too lightly. Really. 19 panadols popped by a Sec 3 kid. Slashes on the wrists by a Sec 2 kid.. you name it, they've done it. And all this talk about death being better than whatever. They're too pessimistic for their own good. Or perhaps they simply don't know any better.

Once, when I was a SW student on attachment, manning a hotline, I got a suicide call. Some of you may have heard this story from me, but I'll tell it again anyway. I don't recall the person's name, nor do I want to. And I won't say which agency I was with at that time. Such calls are the bane of our lives by the way. Cos you don't really know for sure if the caller is serious. It's a risk you have to take. This kid was asking me the best way to commit suicide.

I was stumped for abit. Had to fish out whether the kid was serious. Somewhere down the line, I decided it wasn't serious. So I said 'well, you could jump off a building, but that's terribly messy and please have pity on the cleaner who has to scrape you off the pavement. You could slash your wrists but it's really painful. Alternatively you could pop panadols or sleeping pills. But if it backfires you'll have your stomach pumped out in a hospital and I assure you that's not a nice process.' Or something to that effect.

Result? *silence* then 'it's ok. Thank you.'

I was young and stupid then. It was a huge risk I took. But I think I did dissuade the kid in the end. But I'll never forget the incident.

Will I be ready for it when it happens? And I'm not talking about myself.

Will you?

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