2005-03-07
11:41 a.m.

Squeezed

I feel squeezed in every direction.

Suddenly after my trip, things seem to have changed so much. Or was it perhaps because I was in another time, another space for the last 2 weeks?

Meulaboh seemed so distant, yet it was barely a week ago. In Meulaboh I found myself dashing around some days, and slacking other days. Now I find myself asking what I've achieved during those 2 weeks or so in a foreign land.

The answer, as usual, is I don't know. I don't know much anymore.

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I just read a brother's blog. Sometimes things are not what they seem. Sometimes situations make demands on people. Perhaps I'm just not a good family member anymore. Perhaps I never was? Who understands?

Brother, if you're reading this, if you're still upset then I apologise.

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For the 2 weeks that I was there, I have been trying to keep tabs on news at the home front. My colleagues don't seem to be happy. I must find the time to talk to him. But how? This is a delicate issue, and patience and tactfulness were never my forte.

Must find a way out.

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Spent the morning typing out my report. I wonder how much of it would pull through?

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Who sees the wetness in my eyes?

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